My own song

The living room is quiet with a peaceful ambience, as though responding to the soft dawn of a new day. The gentle light of the morning sun is caressing the room through the large glass window. I see the beautiful valley in front of me through the window, waking up to welcome the newness of another day.

I am fully aware of the warmth of coffee radiating through the porcelain mug that I’m holding. The warmth embraces both my palms offering a deep sense of comfort that a fetus might feel in the mother’s womb. The aroma of Colombian dark roast coffee is inviting. Eyes closed, still aware of the aura and magic of early morning, I take a sip. A sip of what nature was offering in all its glory.

I hear myself breathing. In…and…out…

The big clock on the wall says tic…tok…going about its purpose sweeping time across its 3-foot diameter.

The rhythmic sounds of my breath and the clock fill my consciousness, the silence around me amplifying the sounds.

In…out…tic…toc…

My eyes closed, an image of me walking drew itself on the canvas of my consciousness.

I’m walking away from myself, my back moving away from me.

Tic..left foot forward.

Tok…right foot forward.

I am going somewhere.

My breath adds a track of monotonic rythm…in…out…in…out.

Then a second layer mixes in…tik…tok..tik…tok.

This duet of time and breath is soothing, defining my time signature at the moment.

It’s all beautiful. I love the joy of a lightness. A song is taking shape on its own in my consciousness. I’m not orchestrating it. It’s all just unfolding by itself.

I sense my mind trying to express itself in a multitude of ways. Suddenly ideas and thoughts start flowing in. It’s exhilarating. It seems I’m doing well today.

My mind, a bystander thus far, jumps in asking “where are you going with this synchrony of moments and breaths?”

And then, suddenly and from somewhere this flow of pleasantness goes out of control. Like a sewer, the gentle flow turns into a gushing flood of thoughts about my meetings coming up in an hour, the bills to be paid, the children, stock market…

Suddenly it’s all cacophony and mental pollution, getting louder and disturbing. I’ve lost the rhythm of the tic…tok laced in with in…out. When did they fade out?

I am shaken, like how a bad dream would unleash its wrath on a peaceful sleeper.

The familiar aroma of the Colombian brew makes a comeback. It’s a re-trigger, reminding me of my reality. The living room, the gentle sun light, the view of the valley, the warmth in my palms. Coffee is helpful.

I take another sip of my morning brew to reset the mind and to start all over again.

I’m back to listen to the voice of the clock on the wall…

Tik…tok…tik …tok – one moment at a time.

Then my breath returns me to my natural resonance.

In…out…in…out – one breath at a time.

Now my breath is slower than the tik tok of the clock, and more calming.

But I catch myself hurrying up my breathing to the faster rhythm of the clock. I feel misaligned. With that I observe that I’m walking away faster. Again, the mad gush of meetings, bills and stock market surges back.

Now I see a raucous and rowdy audience cheering me to move faster and faster…meetings, bills and stock market, they scream!! Multi headed hungry monsters are trying to eat me…one piece at a time… never satiated.

No….!!

I’m now running madly. But where am I going? So fast? I’m not sure.

What happened to my time signature? What happened to my song? It’s all mixed up, cacophonic and out of tune. I’m falling over my own steps, mayhem reigns…my head is bursting!

Suddenly I become aware of the softness and warmth of the leather chair supporting my cosmic mass. I take a deep breath, and try another sip of Colombian coffee. “I can do better”, I encourage myself eyes still closed.

I need a conductor to orchestrate all the tracks in my mind – the tik…toks, the in…outs..the meetings, the children, the stock market.

Who is that? Or who are they?

I go within…

When I first closed my eyes and visualized myself walking away into a somewhere, one tik, one tok, one breath in , one breath out…I felt peace. My mind was thoughtless. I felt balance and wholesomeness. The somewhere I was walking into seemed endless and beautiful…I wanted to take the next step to explore its mysteries one breath at a time, one step at a time.

The tik..toks and in…outs were in perfect harmony. A melody revealed itself…and I experienced clarity…an invisible hand was conducting me into the next measure of my song beautifully and effortlessly…

Yes, I allowed myself to be led and conducted by an inner sense. That was my song! It had structure, beauty and flow. Nothing coerced or fabricated. Just natural.

It’s clear now!! I have to know my own song. Knowing this, I blend in additional tracks of meetings, bills, stock market and anything else life conjures up with each new day. They meld into the rhythm, harmony, melody of my song.

I know my own song. I sing it and sing it only. Everything else magically start to pay attention to my song. I stay on track.

The living room is quiet with a peaceful ambience, as though responding to the soft dawn of a new day. The gentle light of the morning sun is caressing the room through the large glass window. I see the beautiful valley in front of me through the window, waking up to welcome the newness of another day.

Coffee now tastes even better.

My song is playing in the background.

Date of inspiration: 7/18/2025